Review of the trailer for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle (2014)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are back, sort of. Truth is I never got into TMNT. It was after my time of collecting toys or watching cartoons. I was more into girls and partying at the time. With that said, I understand that this is not my movie. I know the basic idea of the turtles and their back story. I really just do not care. I did see the last four turtle movies, they were fine. The first film is my favorite of the four. But other than that I am just not excited. Also the film is being produced (not directed) by Michael Bay. Even though he is not directing, I still feel his icy grip on the film. My hope for TMNT fans is that he does not do the same terrible things he did in Transformers. If a Turtle urinates on a government agent I am out. So on to the trailer.

The trailer starts like the last teaser with a transformer sound and a tower falling. People are being held by terrorist. The Turtles move in to save the day. Their picture gets taken by April (Megan Fox) and they want it back. This reminded me of one of the main plot points of the 1989 Batman film. The turtles say stuff to her and she passes out. Then we see William Fichtner (Contact) talking to someone in the shadows about the Shredder armor. I guess that would be Shredder, who was the main antagonist in the first two turtle films. So then you see the armor in action as he takes on the rat, Splinter. The armor does look cool I will have to admit. Some of the Turtles get caught. Then some of Turtles have to rescue them from Colorado. There are quick flashes of fighting and dance music starts. The trailer ends with the same tower falling again and the turtles in peril. I think I saw that in a trailer for some movie with amazing in the title.

The trailer is ok. It gave a lot of the plot away. I think I already know where the film will go. I would like it if there is some twist in the film, but like I said before this is not my movie. The film is targeted at kids from 8 to 13. Which is ok, but please do not make another mindless, overblown and low brow children’s film. Also Megan Fox, she may be the nicest person on the planet but the girl cannot act. She said two lines in the trailer and I winced.

I would give the trailer 3 out of 5.

TMNT will be in theaters on August 8th. Please comment and let me know what you thought.

Review – Transformers (2007)

Well with the release of the new transformers film (no, I have not seen it and really have no desire to), I thought I would look back at the previous films that got us to this point. So with that said, here are my thoughts on Transformers (2007).

First let me give you a little background, I love Transformers. I remember when the first toys came out in 1984. Like a lot of boys at the time I thought that they were the greatest thing ever. They are two toys in one. A robot and a vehicle, you have to be kidding me. I had never seen anything like it. Before that I was all about Star Wars. I would work all the odd jobs I could find to buy the action figures. Oh the many adventures I would have with Han and Luke. But it was 1984 and there had not been a new Star Wars film for two years and like everyone I would have to wait till 1999 to be disappointed. So my mind was starved for something new with science fiction. Enter the Transformers.

I saw the cartoon when it came out and I was blown away. The robots were waking around and shooting at each other. They got hurt and had emotion. The most import factor was they transformed. They turned into cool cars or fighter jets. They had a back story that made sense to me. It was basic but it worked. Then the part that I could not believe, they made toys of them! I had to have just one. So I worked hard and cut a lot of lawns and got my first Transformer, Starscream. It was a jet and I love flying. In the show, I found his character to be the most interesting and complicated. From there I was hooked.
Now we will fast forward to the year 2007. They are releasing a live action movie of the Transformers. I could not believe it. I knew special effects have come a long way and it would be awesome. So I went and saw the film on the opening day. My reaction, it was ok.

I will start with the positives. The special effects were great. The way that the robots changed from vehicle to robot seemed seamless. The Military group in the film was fun and entertaining. If Michael Bay does one thing well it is showing the military in a very positive light. I think that Josh Duhamel and Tyrees Gibson were the best performances in the film. Most important, they got Peter Cullen in the film. For those of you that do not know he is the original voice actor for Optimus Prime. It brought back a lot of great memories.

Now for the easy part, the negatives. I know that was not a very big list of positives but I cannot think of any more. First, the comedy was just terrible. Why is Bumblebee peeing on a person? Next, the human characters where terrible. I think the humans from the cartoons are more realistic then the ones in the movie. The main complaint I have is agent Simmons played by John Turturro. I like John Turturro, but this was one of the dumbest performances I have ever seen. I think the only character that was worse was Sam’s father, played by Kevin Dunn. After those two performances, there are not really any shining moments. You got Megan Fox who I guess her job for the movie was to make sure her ass was in every shot of the film. Plus the girl cannot act. Then I come to Shia LaBeouf, he was just over the top and yelling all the time. Please stop yelling at the big robots Shia! The story was long and drug out. It was simple at first then just did not make a lot of sense. My last complaint is where are the transformers? I mean that the movie is called Transformers so by that logic we should see nothing but transformers. Nope! Instead we see a kid buy a car. Families talk about masturbation. And secret government groups trying to stop or use the Transformers, I do not think they even know.

I guess the real person to blame is Michael Bay, the director of the film. In sports if a team does badly you have to blame the coach. Like a coach, a director is the one moving the pieces, telling the people what to do and comes up with the game plan. Michael Bay did this but badly. I do remember in an interview before the film he did say he did not know a lot about transformers and wanted to make his own film. He did do that, it was just not the Transformers. So I should be fair, I have enjoyed some of his past films. The Rock I think is one of the past action films from the 90’s. Also, the Transformers made a ton of money. That makes movie studios very happy. A lot of people went to see the film, so it did appeal to audiences. So if you look at that, Michael Bay succeeded. As far as a well-made film in my opinion, he failed.

If I had to score the film I would say 3 out of 5 stars. It was ok. I am sure the next one can only get better. Make sure you let me know what you think?